Love's Lessons Learned

PR at Park

adharshi — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 01:12:20 +0000

I couldn’t stop dancing for 24 hours when I realized PR and I would be going out to dance Saturday night. He greeted me with a nice kiss on the street, and we enjoyed each other’s company the night through.

Best part: He was so attentive to me. I felt special, beautiful, looked after. Great kisser, too.

Worst part: We ran into a nasty blast from my past and Park’s scene was overwhelming.

Lessons learned: It’s a small world, after all, but getting walked home by someone through my usual route makes it feel even smaller.

Next steps: I went over the next night, too, and loved snuggling while basketball was on. He is leaving soon, and we have noted that together. So, this can only be a short-term thing. I think I am okay with that, too.

JJ beats DF

adharshi — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 16:56:50 +0000

Baseball game with DF starts off with me knowing that nothing will happen after this point. He lacks confidence and is not attractive to me. He does not seem at ease or comfortable with himself. It is possible he is just nervous, but all that matters is that he is not for me, and I know this immediately.

Best part: I met Jim Jenson and his grandson. They were the highlight of the game and we hope to meet again for future Nats-Marlins games.

Worst part: DF’s dirt, nail-bitten fingers in the Cracker Jacks.

Lessons learned: Intuition serves well, as does body language.

Next steps: I’ll send a polite “no thanks” to his request for another date. And it’ll be okay.

J’s special hat

adharshi — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 23:19:36 +0000

I was in the lucky outfit that I wore variations of all weekend. He saw me and stared on the street. He actually never looked away. I said ‘hi’, turned back a few times, and he drove off. And for a few blocks, I had considered myself at a loss at possible love…until I saw him pulling up in his car to speak to me. It stopped me with laughter in my tracks, and my heart felt redeemed.

Best part: I am being reminded constantly of the energy I give off when I am living in the present.

Worst part: His voice was effeminate, but he had a camera in his car and a hat on that made “do you wanna go out sometime?” sound like chocolate.

Lessons learned: Opportunities for love are everywhere; it may actually be impossible to be alone in this lonely world.

Next steps: I’ll wait for the follow-up call to his text, but I am already intimidated at having to appear as cool and confident as I did on the street.

JW’s Korean cart

adharshi — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:36:43 +0000

Lunch date today with JW was nice. Not too absorbed in him, and he had forgotten some discussion points from our first date. We sat in the park at McPherson Square and he reminded me how important it would be to give my leftovers to a homeless person. Good guy.

Best part: He was in a suit, and I looked cute as a casual 10 years his junior.

Worst part: We couldn’t stay longer. And I am worried he drinks too much given how much he talks about drinking.

Lessons learned: There is great benefit to being on even ground with someone.

Next steps: We’ll see each other next week if he gets in touch after being out of town. I suspect he will, but you never know! For now, DF tomorrow, PR the next day, ladies night tonight!!

PR keeps it comin’

adharshi — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 02:19:22 +0000

I wasn’t too thrilled to meet PR, mostly because JW was great the previous night. But I perked up once we got started and enjoyed deeper conversation than I expected. It was nice to connect but not agree on everything.

Best part: He walked me home this time, with a peck for a farewell and a commitment to call again.

Worst part: I couldn’t admit that I didn’t know what negative equity was. And I felt stupid.

Lessons learned: Things can get better over time, develop naturally, without fantasies and falsities.

Next steps: He said he would call and I will wait for that call. I must obey the cues for next steps that I am given.

JW rocks the house

adharshi — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:14:15 +0000

His call could not have come at a better time. Our moods could not have been better matched. We meet the following night over sushi and then ice cream, and my bestie does the same, oddly (and wonderfully). And I set boundaries for the first time.

Best part: It got better and better as time went by, and I was hoping it might last longer. And I communicated that I do not drink and he respected that beautifully.

Worst part: He asked me up, and a part of me lost respect for him.

Lessons learned: Being myself is fun, and others respond well to it.

Next steps: Celebrate the setting of boundaries, and perhaps set goals to test them out, to do what I say and say what I mean. Maybe I’ll ask him out. And this makes me think in a balnced way about PR, whom I’m meeting tomorrow.

DAN’s magic act

adharshi — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 08:05:23 +0000

Another with the same name as the one who prompted payment to match. But this one is esoteric like me. And our emails are incredible. We shall meet soon, though I have to suggest it. And that’s okay.

Then, after over one week of wondrous exchanges, he disappears.

Best part: Connection is apparent through email.

Worst part: He reminds me a little of the old, falling in love immediately me.

Lessons learned: I don’t have to take only what I get. And I will not chase after what does not show interest in me.

Next steps: There are so many fish in the sea, I can barely keep up. Now that’s a blessing, so I’ll just ride this out.

MJ in NYC, RM the bookends

adharshi — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 13:35:09 +0000

This is too much to take. A whole weekend sleeping beside MJ, with tickles from RM (despite an agreement not to talk) at the start and end of the weekend. What the fuck is going on?!

Best part: I got to be close to MJ, talk to RM, and drown in the emotion of NYC’s creativity and vibrancy.

Worst part: I conveniently ignored a day full of hurt and anguish when I got into bed with MJ every night.

Lessons learned: I’m fighting the old patterns still, but at least I am fighting. My tears flowed easily but will make room for healing.

Next steps: Focus on the now and the future, not the past.

JW phone tag

adharshi — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:30:16 +0000

JW finally got me after some phone tag. He’s a fast talker and wants to meet up for drinks next week. Not sure why he keeps asking to get drinks, but I’ll take it step by step, try my best to communicate that we’ll likely never drink together.

Best part: We finally connected, though it took almost a week for him to call after our street corner meeting.

Worst part: We’re going to touch base early next week to figure out how to meet up early next week. Kind of up in the air.

Lessons learned: Baby steps are steps nonetheless.

Next steps: See what happens when we chat early next week.

PR’s veggies

adharshi — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:25:50 +0000

Dinner at Vegetate. Silences and difficulty looking in his eyes, but that happens with many guys. Fun banter, sarcasm galore.

Best part: I wasn’t completely taken.

Worst part: The waiter knew my name and it creeped me out.

Lessons learned: One date does not a boyfriend make.

Next steps: See if he gets in touch for another date and take it from there; time for the guy to do some work, too.